Friday, July 13, 2012

Swizzle Spitzwater: Origin of the Goblin Thief King


One of the most prolific newcomers on the Tarnzania political scene has been the Spitzwater Clan, a clan of shrewd Goblins that ignored that call to Kragrock Spire that many of their brethren followed. While the Kragrock Spire goblins were all merged into the Kragrock cheap labor pool, quickly becoming slaves for the more powerful human over lords of the city. The Spitzwater clan took advantage of the lack of goblins outside the city and quickly took over their territories, all under the watchful eye of their Thief King. The Spitzwater clan has become a staunch ally of the wizards of Eula in their war against Kragrock Spire, hoping to be able to liberate and then absorb the goblins that are in the city into the fold of clan adding back into their power.
What I have below is the notes and histories that I have on Swizzle Spitzwater and parts of his inner circle.  As well as the rise of the Spitzwater Clan in general.
Swizzle Spitzwater was a proud member of the Spitzwater goblin clan, until the day that a roving band of adventurers slaughtered his people in an effort to raid the temple that Swizzle’s people had guarded for eons or something, Swizzle had never payed much attention to the whole history of his people, instead he would show up to temple guard duty hold his pointy stick and look menacing until his shift supervisor left and then he would ditch his station at the alarm horn and  spend the rest of his guard shift sneaking through the various traps and dangers  that the temple held. Some might argue that because of Swizzle abandoning his post, that was the reason that his people were murdered so ruthlessly, and throuhly, ever the optimist, Swizzle left town remember that there had been 4 similar raids in the last 2 years, only half of them could be construed as his fault, and the goblins had always bounced back. While it was best that people thought he was dead he decided that it was time to travel the world, it quickly became apparent that even despite a Goblin’s good intentions ( or proclaimed good intentions) that he would not be welcomed in the world of people, thankfully skulking around the temple and dodging the attention of authority  figures had blessed Swizzle’s already sneaky and graceful nature with the experience necessary to steal enough food and money to survive, and eventually the joy of theft and the adrenaline of subterfuge outweighed the necessity of food and Swizzle began to take greater and greater risks, it was after a particularly successful night, in which swizzle had managed to break into a Halfling home and steal everything that wasn’t nailed down, some things that were nailed down, and the nails, without waking a single occupant, that he set down camp in the woods near a clearing, planning on burying his stash the next day. Upon waking Swizzle could barely open his eyes and his head felt foggy, trying to stand up, he realized that he was in a cage made for a much smaller animal ( a bird perhaps). He had been captured by the famed circus and traveling freak show of Don Pannuci, a merciless Halfling businessman who had scouts combing the country side looking for fresh talent and new oddities for his Halfling crowd.  Pannuci’s goblin juggler had come down with a sudden case of outspokenness and suffered a long fire related death, So Pannuci was in the market for a new one. Ever the showman Swizzle agreed with out thinking and blacked out with pain as Pannuci thrust a branding iron into his arm, marking him forever as circus property. As years passed Swizzle gained an excellent reputation for his slight of hand tricks, acrobatic amazements and flourishing personality among Pannuci’s patrons, unbeknownst to them, Swizzle was also instructed to slit and purses and grab any wallets to finance the circus’s growing coffers. As the years passed Swizzle plotted and waited, determined to bring down Pannuci’s fantasy circus land around his ears all while robbing him blind. When a large dark confused minotaur was brought in for feats of strength Swizzle immediately felt an inexplicable companionship with him, perhaps it was that opposites attract so  thoroughly, but it was at this time that swizzles plans finally began to be set into motion.
               
Late one night after an incredibly packed show swizzle picked his way into the freak tent and let loose the more unsavory beasts , and began hurling light lanterns at the several tents, causing Pannuci  and his men to panic, running about, trying to save their precious investment. Breaking into Pannuci’s wagon, Swizzle grabbed as much gold and affects as he could and hurried to release his brother in captivity, the minotaur. After escape, Swizzle was followed closely by Pannuci always staying one step in front of the diabolical halfling. It wasn't until years later that Swizzle was able to trick Pannuci into stepping foot inside what was an obvious goblin encampment where he was attacked and killed. Using his gifts of persuasion Swizzle began to lead these goblins on raids against human settlements and caravans, eventually becoming their war chief, even though he still prefered the title of Thief King. Eventually goblins began to flock to Swizzle's amazing clan, changing their way of life from a roving band, to a more settled group, and construction began on Twistee, the first free goblin capital. 
Swizzle is small for a goblin, maxing out height wise at 3 ft even, at the tips of his ears. His small stature and years of sneaking have made him the optimal theif and cutpurse, and sometimes unwilling assassian.  Despite his rough hard smoking and hard drinking exterior, Swizzle considers himself  a charming fellow with a heart of gold, despite what everyone else might say. Being of many words, few of substance, Swizzle will try to talk his way out of any fight before resorting to violence, and will run from almost any fight, especially with odds that are slightly not in his favor. Willing to bet anything except his life on any bet, from horse races to back alley dice games, Swizzle is a chronic gambler and desperate lady’s man. Though he is a social beacon, he only has one true confidant, in his minotaur companion, a friend ship that defies all the rules that Swizzle lives by, and the only person he’d ever stake his life on, no matter the odds. Incredibly racist against all elves, no real reason why, just really cannot stand the tall gorgeous bastards, probably due to his small size and grizzly looks.  Other companions are considered ruebs and suckers, and fair game for pranks, pick pocketing and general berating. He is the self proclaimed leader of any group, and is generally never ever ever in any real position of responsibility

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